I’ve been on the self-love train for a couple years now. In these last few years, I’ve been working on being able to look in the mirror and just like what I see. Why is that so hard? I think it’s because the people who are supposed to teach us love for ourselves are sometimes their own worst critics.
Looking back, I remember all the women in my life made so many negative comments about their own bodies. They were never happy with the way that they looked. And it taught me to make negative comments about my body, which has led to me not being happy with the way I look.
I think if I had heard “wow, these jeans make my butt look great” or “I look super good in red” rather than “I still need to lose this weight. Everything I own makes me look fat” growing up, I might not think those things myself now.
If I had heard the women in my life saying positive things, it would have shown me how to look at the positives, rather than having to learn that as an adult.
I’ve spent years trying to undo the poor image of my body that has grown from both the feminine influences in my childhood, and the influences of the media pushing “perfection.”
And the funny thing is that I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to feel beautiful.
That feeling starts with me.
It starts with me remembering to tell myself I’m beautiful. It starts with me saying it each time I look in the mirror, even when it’s hard. It starts with me noticing the good things; the things I already like. And it starts with me knowing when to find something new to like about me.
More importantly, it starts with me ending the negative self-criticism. There is no room to negatively self-criticize in self-love. All criticism has to be constructive. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Stop being your own worst critic. Even if you don’t have kids. Even if you have no one to set an example for. Be a good critic for you. For your mental health. Because hearing “I’m beautiful” come from your own mouth means more than you know.
Self-love starts with you. Who knew?